DH Templates

Can someone read my cover letter?

Okay, okay, after you read this, you'll probably be thinking it is the crappiest prospect letter in the universe, but try to understand, I was never good at essay writing. Plus, I'm only 14, and this is my first job. So please be nice, and give critique, not insults. :( --- Dear Hiring Manager, (I don't know the names of the managers I'll be applying for :\) Thank you for taking the time to review my resume. I would like to request the opportunity of open positions here at Chapters. I am applying here with a firm belief that my knowledge and qualifications can benefit your organization. I am going into grade 10 as of September this year. I am seeking a part-time job during the summer, but I would also be interested in working during September to October. The purpose of me applying here is not just to gain work experience, but to find a company that can benefit from my excellent organizational and interaction skills. I am independent, mature, and a cooperative team player. My prior participation in spelling bees and student council has helped me develop excellent communication and people skills. I take instruction well, and learn quickly. I can also speak fluent English and Mandarin Chinese. Multi-tasking is something I am very familiar with, and as are taking on a challenge. I am always eager to learn something new, and share my ideas with a team. Enclosed is my resume, and references are available upon request. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Andrea XXX --- I'm looking for someone to just read it over and tell me how I could improve it. I'm writing a prospect letter here, so I'll be applying at more than one place (maybe 5?). I intend on using this cover letter as a template, and just replace "Chapters" and other store names. My parents said since I'm still applying for my first job, it doesn't have to be super tailored towards the job requirements (plus I don't know. I'm just looking for any openings) Is this okay, or should I write separate cover letters? Because that'll mean writing a LOT... Anyway, thanks for reading :) haha, the XXX is so I don't reveal my last name :)

Public Comments

1. Get rid of the "XXX" at the end! Also, get an accented "e" on the word "resume" if you can. And say "attached" instead of "enclosed" unless you are actually writing a physical letter.
2. Hey, if you want a little concrete help check us out at http://www.kibin.com you can upload your essay and get it edited for free by one of our community members. The idea's simple, instead of paying to get your essay edited or begging a reluctant friend, upload it to Kibin.com, you'll get free feedback, all you have to do is edit someone else's essay and yours will be returned without the usual fuss, error-free! Or, if you're pressed for time and don't want to do a "trade" you can pay about .008 cents a word and have one of us edit it within 24 hours! Either way it's 100% guaranteed and always available! Check us out!
3. I made few changes.. To The Manager ( write Name of the Employer if you know) Xyz company Xyz Street. Dear Mr/Ms ----------- I am very interested in the position of --------------- with xyz Group and I feel that my qualification and employment will be appropriate for the position. I am quite confident that my interpersonal communication skill make me the perfect candidate for this job position. I am an extremely hard-working person and very passionate about my work. I will prove myself as an indispensable employee to your company. I can also speak fluent English and Mandarin Chinese. Multi-tasking is something I am very familiar with, and as are taking on a challenge. Please find the attached Resume document to know complete details. I will be very happy if you consider my application for candidacy. Best Regards, (Write your name)