DH Templates

How to write a character letter for a child custody hearing?

Hi. I am a tutor for two kids , ages 9 and 15. I am a 22 year old student. The kid's dad asked me to write a reference letter about the tutoring I do with them and I don't know what to write. I'm not sure what I should put, should I mention that he's a good father or is my letter supposed to just be about what I do with them? I tried looking for templates or guidelines for these types of letters but didn't find any. Does anyone know what to put in the letter? How short should it be? Should it talk about why I think he should have custody? Because I don't really see him for a long period of time, I spend most of my time with the kids unless it's a conversation about their grades, etc. Thanks!!

Public Comments

1. Letters are generally not admissible. A declaration that is signed under penalty of perjury would be the only document that would really be helpful. I would highly advise you not to give any opinions. You should not comment on his parenting skills and you absolutely should not provide an opinion on who should have custody. Frankly, the judge doesn't care about your (or anyone else's) opinions. The judge only wants the objective facts. So I would encourage you to just report the facts. You can briefly describe: 1. Who you are, how old you are; 2. What you do and how much you earn; 3. How long you have tutored the children; 4. A brief description of how and when you tutor the children; 5. A brief description of who hired you to tutor the children; 6. A description of who pays you to tutor the children; 7. A description of how and when (and with whom) you discuss academic progress, etc. Again, including your opinion is not appropriate. Just recite the facts. The end of your declaration should include a statement that it is signed under penalty of perjury under the laws of your state. You should sign and date it, and the statement should include your mailing address and telephone number.
2. While Artemis here has some valid points, the REAL thing the dad is probably going for is for you to write a letter that he cares about the kids education. I have a feeling the mom is saying that the dad doesn't do anything with the kids, and he only wants custody to get out of paying child support. This is a VERY common complaint, and sometimes true, but more often it is NOT true. If I were writing this letter I would include things like Which parent hired you, which parent do you report to, which parent pays you, is there one parent you just don't see. have you seen anything odd like mom says take out your books and the kids laugh at her, but when dad says it they do it right away? He is looking for support from you as one of the few people that have seen him AND his wife interact on a regular basis with the children, and you are there as an educator who often see things in children that most people wouldn't see. When my husband was trying to get custody of his son we had the daycare write a letter and then eventually come to court. They testfied that the 3 year old would act up and throw things and be completely unrully on days he was going to mom's house....but if dad was coming to get him he was "good as gold". This told the court that there were rules at dad's house and consequences for his actions, and at mom's there were none. The child even said to the daycare owner that he could be bad that day because his mom was coming to get him and she didn't care what he did! My husband did get custody of his son....but just like the daycare owner there are things you see that most people wouldn't.
3. I would ask specifically what he needs. If he needs an affidavit for courts to help him in the custody of his kids, then you can include more specific insights that you see. If he just wants a letter stating that he has them enrolled in tutoring to better their education (for example, if he wants a letter stating that he took the initiative to get them tutoring because the school suggested it, etc), then I would leave it to the basics.
4. Artemis is correct that letters are likely not to be admissible in court. A witness needs to be available for the other side to question. A letter does not allow that. I would just report facts in a letter. If the kids' dad had a lawyer, the lawyer would be making a request. The fact that you did not hear from his lawyer probably means that he does not have one. Be VERY careful. The other side may have a lawyer who may need to find a way to exclude your letter and/or testimony, or to prove to the court that your observations and opinions are without value. An unrepresented person in a custody fight is unlikely to win.